


Help yourself.

by princess_christa



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Mild Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-15 00:45:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8035669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princess_christa/pseuds/princess_christa
Summary: The beast in Zen was running out of patience, and your frustration only served to speed up the process.





	Help yourself.

**Author's Note:**

> Self indulgent reader insert because I finished his route yesterday and I miss him. This is a little different from what I usually write but I hope you guys will like it!

Starring at the ceiling was starting to get awfully boring. You had just gone to your room after drinking the warm tea Zen made you, and once again all you were able to think about was the fact that you were spending yet another night apart.

_"This is getting ridiculous"_ , you though to yourself,  _"the party was three days ago and he's still acting like this, I swear I can't sleep in this room by myself again."_

After combing out your hair you changed into one of Zen's shirts, which was way too big for you and also the only option you had seeing as you didn't take any of your personal items with you after leaving Rika's apartment. Size aside, it was actually very comforting to sleep in something that smelled like him, since the real thing seemed to be unavailable for the foreseeable future.

You sighed and leaned against the bedroom door. It's not like you were lonely, but spending the nights by yourself when you knew the person you loved was right in the next room frustrated you beyond words. Knowing Zen, he probably thought he was doing this for your sake and wouldn't dare to make a move himself. If you wanted things to change you would have to take matters into your own hands, and that you did.

The door squeaked if you opened it too fast, so you tried to be as gentle as possible in an effort to make the least amount of noise. You slowly tip-toed to his room and peaked in just to find him turned on his side surrounded by darkness. The coast was clear.

"ZEN, I've had enough of this... this... whatever this is!", you declared as he turned the lights on, bright enough so he could see you without being blinded.

"You should be sleeping, what are you doing here? And please don't shout, the neighbors will be angry", he replied, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

You approached his bed side, hands on your hips and glared at him, 

"It's not nice to sleep alone, I bet it's the same for you. I'm going to lie down right here so make some space... Please", you added, seeing the surprised look on his face.

Zen moved to the other side of the bed and you got under the covers beside him, sighing before the room went dark again.

"Don't worry about anything, I'll stay on this side and you can stay on that one. Here, I'll even turn the other way so you can't be tempted by my face", and with that you faced to the opposite side of where he was lying and made a mental note to hit yourself really hard the next day, this all looked way better in your head.

If he was shocked he didn't show it, he just went right back to his dreams. This wasn't what you wanted, you felt as if you had hurt him and that made you want to cry. In the midst of your thoughts you slammed your palm against your forehead and felt him stir. 

"It wasn't easy for me, going to bed every night knowing that you were right in the next room", he whispered, turning you around so you would face him, "None of this came naturally to me and I think you know it".

One of his hands caressed your cheek while the other pulled you closer to him. Your lips were only inches from his and you longed for their touch. He didn't kiss you often, but when he did it felt as if you'd been swept off your feet by the emotion he put into it. It was enough to understand why he didn't want you two to spend the night together, even Jaehee seemed to know that and until a couple of days ago she hadn't even seen you in person.

"Zen, please know that I'm doing all of this by my own choice. Being here, being with you, everything that's happened since we met has been because I wanted it. I would rather be here than anywhere else in the world right now, looking at you, feeling your warmth and your love towards me, it's more than anything I could ever hope to have in my life. I love you, you and only you, I want to be with you as much as possible, having to spend the nigh in that room all the while knowing I could be looking at your face was hard but I thought it was what you wanted so I didn't say anything. But that was not the case, right? I want to believe that you also wanted to be with me like this, so even if it's just for tonight, let me stay. If you feel uncomfortable I can go back, so just", you brushed his hair out of his face and leaned in to kiss his cheek, "for tonight, let me stay".

He turned the lighting up, so you could barely see that his face had turned a bright red. He looked from your eyes to your lips several times before attempting to speak, stuttering in the process.

"You know how I get when you say things like these, it's cheating", he smiled, scratching the back of his head awkwardly, "It's just that I don't ever want to make you think that it's not safe to be with me, I want to be someone who can protect you and there are times when I think that if we go any further than holding hands I won't be able to help myself and then-".

With that you pulled him towards you and planted your lips against his,

"Help yourself", you smiled after pulling back and propping yourself on your elbows.

"I don't know if this is a good idea. Are you-".

"Yes, Zen, I'm sure. You know, I understand your way of thinking but sometimes I can't help but think you don't want to touch me. And you make me feel safe, safer than I have felt in a long time. To be unable to touch of the person you cherish most is actually really sad, especially when they're right within your grasp", you lied back down and put your palm on top of his.

"The thing I want to do most right now is touch you. Knowing that there is a person who loves me not only for my looks, but for me, for all the different sides of me they've seen, makes me feel like the happiest guy in the world. I am so grateful for you, I can't believe I had the luck of meeting someone as amazing as you, I wish we could stay like this forever. If only I could tell you how much you mean to me", he moved closer and ran his fingers through your hair, you could smell him now, that scent that accompanied you every time you got ready in your room, he was here and you felt like your heart was pounding in your throat.

"I love you, I'm not going anywhere. It's okay", you lifted yourself up and hugged him, he was so much bigger than you in stature yet in that moment he felt so fragile, and you wanted to make sure that no matter what he knew you trusted him.

One of his hands rested at the small of your back while the other strayed to the nape of your neck, he brought his face close to yours and kissed your forehead. His lips traveled down to your cheeks, to your lips, to your neck, just as if he was mapping your skin, like a traveler exploring unknown ground, he moved carefully in fear that even the smallest misstep would cause an eruption. But he got bolder, it wasn't long until you got ticklish as he nibbled his way up to your ear and, involuntarily, let out a giggle.

"Don't stop", you complained as he looked at you in surprise.

"Come closer", he whispered, lifting you on top of him.

You rested your elbows on his chest and let out a sound of satisfaction as his fingers grazed your torso underneath your shirt. Feeling quite sure of yourself as well you soon reached down and pulled his shirt up above his head before throwing it aside. He immediately got clumsier, causing you to lose your balance and fall back down beside him.

"Who thought you of all people would become insecure about a girl seeing your naked body", you smirked after realizing he was actually trying to distract you from looking at him.

"I-I'm not naked!", he protested, furiously blushing, "And you're not just any girl", he added, turning his gaze away from you at the speed of light.

You laughed and snuggled next to him,

"Relax", you purred as one of your hands stroked the lower part of his abdomen.

His lips gave way under yours and he inhaled sharply when your tongue moved to meet his. Your fingers reached into his underwear as you pressed yourself against him, he paused for a mere heartbeat before taking off your shirt so he could feel the warmth of your skin against his. You remained like that for some moments, his fingertips running in circles across your lower back while you stroked his erection. But you got greedy and took one of his hands in yours, moving it lower so that he was cupping your buttocks. 

It seemed like the oh so confident Zen actually needed constant confirmation that he was doing good, that he was pleasing you, and you thought it was unbelievably cute so you were more than happy to give it to him.

"I told you, you can help yourself, so don't hesitate anymore".

After trying to get him to loosen up it seemed as those were the only words he needed to hear to, quoting Jumin, let the beast inside him awaken. In the blink of an eye he was on top of you, massaging one of your breasts as he took off your underwear and you took off his in return. You nibbled at his neck, a little too hard, but he looked like he was enjoying it so you forgot yourself. There was bound to be a visible red mark there by tomorrow.

_"That's nothing to worry about, it will only go to show that he's mine"._

Zen couldn't read your mind, but at that moment you could have sworn he was a psychic for he lowered himself down to your collarbones and gave you a taste of your own medicine, although it was a lot more satisfying. 

"Don't forget you're mine as well", he answered to your thoughts.

You soon felt his fingers graze the inside of your thigh and you propped your hips upwards, using one of your hands to guide him inside you. He was gentle, more caring than you could have ever imagined. You knew he must've wanted this to happen for some time now, but he didn't show it. He held you close to him the entire time, the way he glided over you was smooth and never for a moment did he come off as aggressive. You locked your legs around him, trying to sync your movements but first times are never easy and things got clumsy, but he was okay with that. He caressed the side of your face as he leaned in so that your foreheads touched, he truly made you feel like that was the safest place you could be, in that moment and in all the moments to come. 

"I love you, Zen", you whispered just as he was about to kiss you.

He pressed his lips against yours softly, just as you were able to match your pace with his. With your bodies finally moving in sync, or almost in sync, things became much easier and it was not long before you both reached climax. You stayed like that for a few minutes, with your legs tangled and your arms around each other, not really sure if you should be the one to move first, or if you should wait for him. 

In the end he fell flat on his back and looked at you with a smile that you felt could melt you to your core. 

"I love you too. I hope I've made that clear. Right now, I guess you could say that you're the most important person to me. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and I can't believe this is real, I don't think I deserve someone like you. Ever since you came into my life I've gotten stronger in more ways than one. I want to keep growing so that I can be someone who can also support you in the way you have supported me. I don't ever want to stop saying it. I love you, I love you, I love you".

Your eyes were almost filled with tears, this was unfair of him to do. 

"You're wrong. I'm the one who's lucky here. I must be the luckiest girl in the world, to be able to meet someone as sweet and loving as you by pure coincidence. But I'm glad. I'm so glad that you were able to come into my life. I also want to be an honest person to you, I don't ever want you to have doubts about the way I feel. I think you're amazing and I love you. I love you with all of my heart Zen".

You buried your face in the crook of his neck but he lifted your chin up and kissed you one more time. 

"So that means we can sleep together from now on, right?", you teased him.

"I'd be crazy to say no", he smiled and put his arms around you. 

 


End file.
